“You can't be value-free when it comes to marriage” ― Al Gore

Treating another person with respect and valuing their independence is called civility. Not generosity.

The day you brought a change in me....

Venky, dedicated to you on our exclusive Valentine's Day, 12th Feb that is!

While you travel back home each day; 
please think two years back today;
the day I set my eyes on you;
the day I fell for the simple you;
the day you opened to me your soul;


with just a humble goal;
the goal to make me smile;
every day without a guile;
you keep your promise in place;
with a wonder that makes me daze;


but clarity arises; 
as I make promises; 
an oath to love you everyday; 
with the same commitment as that day;
the day I fell for the simple you....
The day you opened to me your soul......

This is what I meant when I said "US"

Cartoonalysis #2

Cartoonalysis-Prioritizing spouse over SHOPPING...!

Dear Venky....

Chanced  upon this cartoon on a telugu led website...

http://www.teluguone.com/comedy/content/funny-cartoon-of-husband-and-wife-34-9763.html

Got me thinking....over a period of time
Time:Flies...
Time with spouse: Drags....
Spouse becomes : A habit, A constant, An omnipresent factor
Relationship:Degenerates....Fades.....Breaks
Priorities: change...shopping, reading, meeting friends, haggling with kids take precedence over spending time with your spouse

Some call it a very natural progression, to me its losing out on time with that one person who has the potential to be ever present for you.with you.

I do not want this to happen to us.We have to do something to keep our relationship from turning into a glaring truth that is both uncomfortable and shackling!

I know right now we are thinking career, making money, thinking socializing, making babies and what not.Are we thinking about 'us' ? 'Us' five years later, ten years hence.

Money will flow...disappear...family will grow, shrink...we do not have control over all this on a long term.But one thing needs to be constant ..US...not U.S or dreams of earning big.(sticking my tongue out)

Think about it!

Till then,

Hasta la vista, baby!

When you go that extra mile :) !

Venky......loved what you did today.....added yourself in my friends' group to get to know them ......that extra mile...makes me fall in love with u all over again!

Junkyard wars.....!

I am doing this amazing course with coursera.org through penn state.....sharing some pictures for products made from junk at work! #cicmooc ...On second I can refine it and actually sell it online!!!!!

An email that left me with a bad taste!

Dear Venky

Hello to you..I have something very important to share.

Read this link!You will be shocked:

An email: I cannot bend to my FIL’s greed … but I don’t want to break up a family (mine) …

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/an-email-i-cannot-bend-to-my-fils-greed-but-i-dont-want-to-break-up-a-family-mine/

Read this in a favourite fellow blogger's site....

Here the lady in question is trying to not get back with her in-laws.You know I am a staunch joint-family activist, hence I found the issue very weird...until I read on.

The FIL and MIL are apparently not very educated and had thrown their DIL and son out of the house when she was miscarrying.Now the MIL is no-more and he wants the son back into his house.

FIL hates his grand-daughter apparently...and never bothered to check on the family post driving them away.

In such a situation, son is supposed to take a 40 Lac loan for the family to buy a house where all together can stay???The husband/son is totally caught up in between with the wife saying that money is tight and father brainwashing him everyday.

The wife is even ready to walk out on him!I guess she is really frustrated and so is the poor husband...But I really can't imagine a FIL like this....??SHOCKING!!

In all this, I am so glad we have a family where we are really taken care of!Need to thank god for that!

More importantly, need to thank you..yes, you...You have such clarity of thought and you stick to your decisions..it makes me feel really good and secure!

Stay that way..always (even if it annoys me sometimes that you do not budge!)

Love,

Me

When romance takes an ugly turn...comedy pitches in

Helllo venky.....

Cant believe this happened today.....I mean me forgetting my phone is pretty normal...be happy that I forgot the phone at home instead of office....looo.....kitchen sink....fridge...by the way all these hv happened in the past!

When you called me on that ancient landline connection in my office....i   got a transferred call.....l thought why is everyone's voice resembling yours... Aww sooo mushy....only to be shouted at you for my ever forgetfulness....I thank my stars that I escaped your usual bickering by making a joke out of this whole thing......!

Next time I promise......I will not forget my phone
.....scout's honour.....(@ home at least)

Pleased to meet you, Venky: An incomplete post to a soulful completion!

Hi,

So finally we meet...and you actually end up liking me, am glad!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I went to clean up my draft after almost a year of blogging.....the above were the words that I saw.
I do not know what was going on in my mind when I wrote this, but as I got thinking I wondered why did I marry you!

Now, after a year and a half of meeting you, Eureka!I finally got it.

1. You are not my knight in the shining armour!You see me as an independent unit...let me take my own decisions unlike the very stereotyped allegations that-- a husband has to take care of his wife.She is his responsibility.You know it unnerves me and you so easily adapted to my needs.I get floored every time I think of it.
2. You give a direction to my impulse and dreams! You do not put down my aspirations, even if it sounds very weird to you.You help me find a direction to fulfil them for me!A NO, always bugs me, but a solution to satisfy my needs or wants gives me a direction and hence a goal.10 million brownie points for you for that!
3. You love me, realistically! Somewhere, you defy all my notions of a classic romance.I have come to realise that true love is all about standing up for each other in difficult times.And that is exactly what you do.I know how stressed you get, but you still don't give up on 'US'!I am glad that occasional pampering also happens..so please don't forget that too. :P !

Stay like this, Venky...being with you makes me feels there is so much more to learn, explore..each day together!

Yours,

Venky's bride

Year 2 starts: Venky and me are both married and happy at the same time!

Now are we happy because we are married or are we married because we are happy individuals...is something that only dilbert knows  :P

venky...will u be someone like this?

A beautiful thought that I got:
A guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... one who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky hes to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her...
......... Hold him...He's the perfect soul mate for u..

Please please please be someone like this.......

20 things I want to spoil you with...

Hi Venky,

I suddenly missed you....working weekend ahead of me...so thought will drop in a 'hi'...

You know, I have been making a list of 20 things that I would gift you.....

I have figured out some of it...so here goes:

1. An evening at Udaipur palace
2. A trip to Athens
3. A visit to Rameswaram
4. To leh-ladakh on road....(If you can ride a bike, it will be so much fun)
5. An evening where you can talk and I would listen...you don't believe me..?!.promise you this one....!
6. Will cooking something out of the box for you....anything bizzare....anything weird, really, your choice!
7. Will paint a portrait of you, after learning to sketch ofcourse :)
8. A walk by the sea, where every step will tell why I love you so much....
9. A yacht  by your name ......really even if you have the longest name on this earth...will still name it after you..considering we being tambrams...I knw our names are rather long :P
10. Anything you wish...... :) 

I am so excited, I hope you are.... :) ....if you aren't...pl see the list is indicative.....we can always alter it :D 

Till then....hugs...love you loads!

:)

Shruti

Men......pheWwwww! Interesting BBM forwards!

€Enough of jokes on the ladies. Now its the time for some male bashing..... (For a change).


Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up. :p 

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are.. 

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever. 

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares???\=D/ 

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!. 

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.:D 

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
 A: i) no mind ii) no business:p 

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions . 

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink. 

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!! 

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract. 

Indian Men....seriously!


Chinese man will have a wife and a girlfriend and will love his wife more.


A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends and will love his 1st wife more.


A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends and will love his girlfriends more.


An Indian man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends ...and he still loves his mummy more...


Pass this on to women who need a laugh and to men who can handle it! :p

Soboite and Senthil.....

Hi Venky,


Here's my ramble for the weekend...


I went to Palladium last night...had some good laughs with friends.That was like awesome...one more place that we ought to go to...but that's not what this is all about!


I saw some 18 - 21 year old college kids there.Influential families, lots of money...Smooching, making out...drunk...doped...ask me what not.It's not like I care...but it made me remember some beautiful people, I met last year...


One of them was Senthil.


20 years.He's like 6th standard pass.But could not study further because of economic instability.


He works in a printing unit....prints and fixes flex boards of movies, commercial advertisements...all his money actually goes in taking care of his mom and sister...straight out of a movie yeah...I wish so too.... but its unfortunately real.


He's in love....with a cousin...gosh, has even tattooed her name on his chest... he's that kinds you know.. "one and only, forever" types...yeah that's him!


But he thinks its not going to work out.He hasn't even asked her...?! She's a little more well off it seems..her dad has a garage.


Then I asked him , " why don't you move on, if its not going to work out? "


What he said moved me, " I had two choices...wait for her...or sleep with dhanam for 100 rupees a night..she's a local prostitute...I thought what's the point in being in a loveless relationship....I made my choice , I will wait for her.What's life, if you can't hope for some love"...and he smiled...all of his slender frame... wise and serene :)


At that point in time, I felt respect for that kid..was it his dignity, his clarity of thought....I don't know what?


But such a contrast...in one part of the country.. you have kids who live for the moment and hardly think about anyone but themselves...


And there are Senthils...who may not be even educated, forget rich....but has a lot more dignity than those soboite kids in mumbai, they have self respect that commands the same from others....


Venky, seriously I want our kids to have such dignity in choice..I do not want to influence or teach them to be dignified, forthright, conscientious ....I just want them to be able to make those choices....and be responsible for their choices and decisions...if I am able to bring that quality in them..then I think we are kick ass parents...aren't we?! :)


Now you will tell me... "woman you growing old..stop analyzing people so much" !


bauahah...I just know you..Venky...until then....


Love you loads....!


Shruti :)

Cheesy lines.......wary minds

Lucy (Drew Barrymore): “I don’t know who you are, Henry… but I dream about you almost every night. [apprehensive pause] Why?”

Henry (Adam Sandler): “What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?”

Lucy: “I would say that that makes a lot of sense.”

Henry: “You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You’re the girl of my dreams… and apparently, I’m the man of yours.”

Lucy: [she reaches out and shakes his hand] “Henry. It’s nice to meet you.”

Henry: “Lucy, it’s nice to meet you too.”

Arranged marriage...a sure shot way to help you get screwed

I am rather proud of my headline....I am going to get a lot of eyeballs, I am sure...

 It's 8.20 am in the morning, she's trying to sift through horoscopes of guys.....the horoscope will match and then i will be talking to guys....the couple  will try to figure, if we are made for each other or are likely to drive each other mad....!

what she doesn't get is....kids these days are scared of commitment...they are like really really freaked out....these kids are as old as 30 even.....umm..nvm...this is the path I have chosen....have to go though it.....

84 year old...trying hard to look into a book

Though my friends who have been through the phase of meeting guys and getting the right one say...when things happen right with the perfect one....every other thing seems trivial.....never thought I would say this...but I feel someone should have really really loved me and asked me to get married.....it would have been easier..all those things about unspoken trust....mundane living..sharing practical difficulties....and whatever kind of happiness would have been natural and with the flow........maybe not really all that natural..but the willingness to make life easier for one another would have been easier to live up to

I think till then, my ammamma( granma) would have to look for my right one in these magazines....One thing is for sure....

" I may give up and lose out on my determination to find my right guy....but am sure this 84 year old wouldn't! " :)

Wish you really really felt for me.....A diary of futile yearnings

I have been through this before....at least a couple of times or probably more....and every time I bounced back....because I just had to move on...I just had to prove it to myself...

This time its difficult....this time I am scared..this time I am feeling lonely...because this time i am not alone...this time I am carrying you with me..its you who is more important...probably always you.....And that is why I feel much more scared than I ever felt before.....but what they say........

"Courage is about doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." 


Miss you......

Train journeys back home...

Overheard a woman fighting with her boyfirend.He was apparently paying special attention towards a certain colleague. . .she was sitting in a corner and hiding her tears from the rest of us.
We were trying not to get 2 involved in her stuff. . .but women being genetically curious. . .we cudnt ignore sighs,bouts of tears and occassional hiccups.I was wondering if we were just nosy or were we all relating this scene to uncertainties,miscommunication, in our personal relationships. .
Be it your parents, siblings, family, friends....anyone for that matter.

I have read many shady articles...that says talk out problems, will help build relationships...will prevent break ups, barriers whatever......but is it possible to always voice out concerns.....don't we all shut up, when things just don't seem to work out.....

Do we just brood over things.....or just accept , stay with and move on.... :)

What is the solution to all this? Maybe , just maybe, writing about it helps.....